NOT FORGETTING YOU O MY PUBLIC ENEMIES (HILARIOUS)

ECG- Didn’t want to be forgotten right? Well you sure got our attention: Candles present, lights on…Candles missing, ‘dark on’. I need permit to be a next door neighbour to Akosombo Dam. I need direct power!

AFARI GYAN- The ‘Pressure’ on you is the solution. It can drive the Akosombo turbines

ONE GHANA CEDI- Where have you been all this while? Responds- with the 'trotro mate o'.

GBC- My new TV set looks so old minutes I tune in to your channel! What has changed?

NATIONAL SERVICE SECRETATRIAT- You do ‘posting’ and not ‘exporting’: how did my best friend end up in Burkina Faso?

ANNOUNCEMENT- PEACE WANTED! Dead or Alive. What did they mean? Oh that's their dog's name!

DEDE AYEW- I'm sure with you we will bring the World Cup home right?

WOYOME- We didn’t expect to see Santa…we expected to see you! Where did all the money go? And where were the Santaclausians (Adisco Boys)?

UCC- At the IEA Debate, Prof Naana and Kojo Oppong Nkrumah made us ploud… ‘Proud I mean’, one person couldn’t escape the University of Constant Confusion (UCC)- Ayariga

GWCL- Here is my empty bucket: did you say to your office or the Flagstaff House?

CHINA PHONE- 3 pieces plus a woofer equals a successful funeral!   

MTN- PERMISSION TO USE MY OWN CREDIT: Dear Sir, I formally write to you....

POLITICIANS- You are the reason for God. The day you solve our problems, God retires!

Despite your shortfalls, we do appreciate your efforts. Happy New Year Once again!

A CHALK, A PENCIL AND A PEN

When we were little (https://www.facebook.com/WhenIWasALittleChild), we used to use a chalk and a slate. My kindergarten class was the World Trade Centre. 

Transactions of children battling each other and batter trading for leverage to achieve unreasonable goals. My slate was my galaxy tab. You would find every information about me on it. And when I needed to refresh it, it was just a duster away.

Then came the days of using a pencil. Ha...how fulfilling it felt to hold on to my HB pencil. I was so into the pencil, i grew a very great artist. I would sharpen the tip to look like the apex of Mount Everest. What i loved most was the eraser, it reminded me of my chalk and slate days.

Graduating to the use of Pen was a kindergarten vision achieved. Just amazing. Truth be told, I had started using it prematurely; imitating my dad in the way he went about scribbling his name T-O-M-M-Y. I had grown out of using the chalk and walked by my kindergarten class every morning surprised by how short those kids looked and how much they pride themselves with their 'Some Song Galaxy Tabs'.

By the time I walked up to buy a pen for class, I would meet these upper primary kids coming for pencils. Ha..i would scoff! positioning my pen in my breast pocket to face the world! The joy of asking for permission to go out and sharpen my pencil, was joy the more.

Little did i realize that the transition was significant in my Success one day;

The chalk represented how easily I would be able to make mistakes and rob it off as a little child. How people would easily overlook my errors as unintentional. No wonder we fought each other every minute, yet forgot after the next minute that it ever happened.

The pencil would represent mistakes i would make in my middle age, once that would demand effort to erase...

The pen days would be errors that would demand a greater force to clean; which even after cleaning would leave scars to be remembered for years.

What a realization! The days of Rain Rain Go Away sure taught us how to actually stay awake to the deeper errors we could commit in our old age. Enough caused already! Look me through the eyes of a kindergarten child and let the scars I have created melt away.

What are friends for?

A HAMMER AND NAILS

Call me funny but I've been thinking. Thinking about what in a hammer and a nail would make Heaven qualify Joseph as the human father for Christ.

Thinking about why Heaven would introduce Christ to a hammer and a nail at such a tender age, when they ultimately would be the at the crucifixion, what the gun was at Newtown, USA.

Why did our Father's choice of a father have to be a Carpenter?
Was it perhaps to familiarize His son with the hitting-cracking effect of a hammer on the head of a nail?

If so it sure made Jesus Christ very frank. He'd hit the nail on the head whenever he got the chance.

Was Jesus being prepared? I wonder the number of times Jesus accidentally hit his own hand.

I wonder if he learned to value the 'ordinary' from watching his father Joseph carve something out of nothing. A lesson that ultimately led Him to refine fishermen into change catalysts.

O God! the lessons you teach!

GHANA PUTS ON A SMILE (PAGE 1)

Written on Saturday, December 1, 2012 (Six days to elections)

The confidence of the Nigerian, the curiosity of the American, the discipline of the Japanese, the conservativeness of the German, the gallant nature of the Russian or the openness of the British all combined can never equate the 'natural log' of a Ghanaian.

Where natural log equals 99.9% of the average Ghanaian's ability. Below are 5 reasons (with examples) why the Ghanaian stands out;

1. Multitalented!
a)A Ghanaian striker ‘Suarezes’ a continent and a week later becomes a superstar rapper.
b)A flagbearer enters a laboratory…pardon me...a debate room; and comes out with a cough mixture

2. Invented Shortcuts
a)10 cedis is enough to take you to and back from the sun! (Trust me…through Navrongo)
b)First in line at a Metro Mass station, seven people after me get their tickets and the bus is already full! (Magic!)

3. Brilliant!
a)An unemployed graduate frustrated from a job search thinks outside the box. Sets up the UNEMPLOYMENT GRADUATES' ASSOCIATION and is now in business!
b)Police stops an overloaded truck and inspects the driver, not the car!

5. Accomodating!
a)Woman on first seat buys a bottle of coca cola and turns around to the rest of us, “You are invited”.
b)Accidentally stepped on the shoe of a macho man, “Oh sorry!” He responds, “No worry, you can do it again” (Huh?)

Kwame Nkrumah rose for change; first independent state in Africa (Something to brag about!)
 “Let us call her Ghana”  J. B. Dankwa had blasted! Amon Kotey  got busy and drew the Coat of  Arms,
Theodisia Okoh sampled colours to produce a stupendous beauty; The National Flag.

Ephraim Amu carved the heavenly words, “Yen ara asaase ni” and Philip Gbeho presented to the us the golden lines of our National Pledge and Anthem.
Ghana was born!

A nation with uncountable natural resources on her soils; but her greatest resource not found in the ground for men to trample on.
Her greatest resource is deep in the hearts of her people.
A resource so affordable money cannot buy!
Yet remains the world’s scarcest commodity.
A resource to keep; with or without Dec 7th 
A resource called PEACE


A short quiz before we vote;
Five representatives of each of the political parties were put in a room with their hands tied behind their back. They all feel sleepy over time.
How different will their ‘yawning’ be based on their party colours?

Wrong! Think again!